Well, I am here in Oxford, and have been since Sunday. Im starting to learn my way around and have already made it to Wal-Mart (twice), Kroger, the bank, and the gas station, as well as to Roxannes apt. And I only got semi-lost once. :)
Well, Ive been quite busy already and its not really going to stop. We have our Fastbreak conference this weekend for the high school students and then when we get back, we are leading up to our new Wednesday outreach meetings. I enjoy being busy and being with other people, but Im definitely going to have to get used to the schedule and make use of my free time when I do have it. I am super excited about being here and being able to fellowship with my team, the Miami staff team, and the college student volunteers! But at the same time, one of the hardest things so far is coming into a place where I feel like things are already established. Now that kinda sounds silly cuz obviously youll have that in pretty much any new situation. But Im jumping into staff meetings where they are talking about things that I have no idea about, a Bible study where theyre in the middle of studying a book, and even a living situation where relationships are already formed. It sometimes makes me feel like an outsider. But this isn’t to say that all of the people I have met have not included me. For the most part, it has been much the opposite and I am so thankful for that! Many of the staff team and college student volunteers have expressed their excitement to have me be here. Its just that in new situations I tend to become shy and focused in on myself… hence the “woe is me” feelings Im having. It was like that when I went to college. I started going to CRU from the very beginning of my freshman year, but it took me that whole year to be comfortable there, open up to be myself, and find my place. I don’t have that long to get comfortable here, my internship is only for a year! I am also a different person than who I was as a freshman in college. It will just take me trusting the Lord and putting my self-confidence and identity in him.
Ive been reading a book called Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham. It has been very refreshing and putting some things in a new light and perspective for me. One chapter talks about really owning your identity in Christ and choosing to live in this belief whether we feel like we are worthy of it or not. We are holy. righteous. accepted. blameless. complete. forgiven. And so often we (I know I do) live our lives being concerned about what the world thinks of us and says we are rather than what is true of us. We are called to set our hearts and minds on things above, not earthly things [Colossians 3:1-2]. Im still processing through what it looks like to truly believe and live this out. It’s a lot easier said than done. Again, it comes down to trusting Jesus and letting him live through me.
